Ask Audrey: A lesbian daughter could be the must-have accessory that is latest regarding the Rochestown path

Ask Audrey: A lesbian daughter could be the must-have accessory that is latest regarding the Rochestown path

Sorting out Cork individuals for a long time like

C’mere, what’s the whole tale with thinking Cork is preferable to sex. I’ve really reconnected because of the town into the previous couple of weeks, walking on during the lockdown and breaking into rips each and every time Shandon sneaks into view, I’d a be poor for this. It’s the company kid, strolling across the streets that are empty alone along with your ideas and a will of Dutch Gold, you’re able to realise what’s essential in your lifetime. Therefore like can we all agree with something whenever all this work is over – Cork town could be the fruits once you don’t need to share the footpath with gowls from Carrigaline. Therefore, can you ever ask one of your snobby attorney friends if you have solution to ban culchies from Cork, forever like? – Dowcha Donie, Blackpool.

I’m with you on your

Most people are saying the air is fresher around Cork since there are so cars that are few the trail. We state it is since there is no one up from Bandon to complete their ‘bit of shopping. ’ #IsThatSilageOrManure?

Aon sceal? This weekend and get off with our birds i’m a trainee Guard from Dingle, they gave me early release from Templemore and sent me down to Cork to make sure ye lads don’t drive off to Kerry. These are typically four of us in the one household here in Frankfield, Christ we inform you we’d be bating from the Cork females with a dirty stick, they appear to think we’re noise due to our sly accents. Anyhow, i’ve an issue with all the thing that is cocoon. You see, Kerry ladies are grand until they hit 60, after which they’d almost have significantly more hair that is facial Paul Galvin. Yeer Cork women do have more design I can’t tell if a woman is over 70 or not about them and? Any hints? – Paid Og Ban Beag, Frankfield agus Dingle.

The Posh Cousin has simply started a podcast targeted at older ladies who require good sex-life, it is called In Your fantasies. We stated, what’s the way that is best to share with if your Cork girl is finished 70. She stated, ask if she nevertheless has among those Roches that is red Stores at house. #TheyAllDo

Now pay attention Paddy. Things are rather tight for English aristos that we can’t charge oiks 50 quid to circumambulate our stately domiciles and say ‘hey up, Clive, i’dn’t want to be the main one picking right on up the heating bill right here, chuck. Like myself right now, now’ Quite. Anyhow, fortune favours the rich and what not, didn’t your guy Varadkar contact me through the with what I believe is known as a job week. Their research has shown which you filthy Micks have actually stopped listening to stay-at-home warnings from individuals with Dublin 4 accents – evidently they’re perhaps not English sufficient. Huzzah! That’s where we are offered in. Therefore, listen up, the message from Leo and their federal federal federal government is really as follows – there will likely be no raising the lockdown since you have already been very bad Paddys. Might you pass that around Cork in my situation? – Lord Edmund D’Servant-Shagger, Wiltshire, to call among the numerous counties we have.

My relative is really an excellent gael councillor, we call him Planning Permission. I rang him here to fairly share the lockdown. He stated, how’s your mother? We stated, I’m dying to offer me personally a hug. He stated, come on Audrey you don’t want her catching Covid-19. We stated, Jesus no, maybe maybe not along with her home well well worth 50% of what’s was at January. He said, precisely.

No shortage of friction on our WhatsApp team, Stunning Ballinlough Over-Achievers whom Are happy Now They Didn’t Have children.

We snuck down for a stroll around Atlantic Pond with Leoni final night, therefore we’re able to ask one another passive-aggressive questions regarding loss in income because of Covid-19. (‘Will you need to opt for the cheaper nose-job now’ – the most common bitchiness you’ve got along with your closest friend. ) Anyhow this Guard stopped us and asked whenever we were both through the exact same home – Leoni said we’re really a homosexual few, in the same way Naomi Clarke-O’Leary had been moving, and didn’t the nosey bitch tell everybody. Now, I’ve absolutely absolutely absolutely nothing against lesbians – but we don’t want people thinking i will be one either, have you figured out that type or sort of an easy method. Just how am I able to show I’m right, without insulting the gays? –Carina, Ballinlough.

My relative Orla is gay, her mom had been devastated until some body shared cam camster with her a lesbian child could be the must-have accessory that is latest regarding the Rochestown path. (It replaced a hairless pet. ) We stated, Orla, exactly exactly what can you state to the Carina? She stated, absolutely nothing. We stated why? She stated, I’d choose to shag a person than speak to some body from Ballinlough. #TheSnobbyLesbian

Fast one woman. I happened to be likely to keep my boyfriend however now a lockdown is had by him beard and I’m as horny this one who sang I’m horny, horny, horny, horny. He’s like Chris Hemsworth having a Kanturk accent, I’d be rubbing I don’t even like him off him all day and! Will there be any remedy for Beard Lust? – Martina, Cloyne.

I became telling girls on Zoom yesterday evening that I happened to be angry for bearded guys in university. One of them stated, did a rash is got by you? We stated, about four to five of those, but none back at my face thank Jesus. #GreatTimes #TheresAlwaysPenicillin